What it Means to Command
by Cardinal-Light
Summary: A short story focusing on Kensuke as he lives his life in a post-Third Impact world.


Disclaimer: Neon Gensis Evangelion is the property of Gainax. I do not profit from this story.

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Cardinal-Light Products Presents

An original Evangelion short story

"What it Means to Command"

Kensuke Aida wandered into the classroom a few minutes earlier than normal; his notes, books, and cap tucked under his arm. His BDUs still itched from the starch and his hair was still wet from the morning's shower. The drill instructor had been unusually satisfied with the cadets' drill and had mercifully allowed the cadets to leave the drilling ground early. The upperclassmen who didn't have morning classes simply crawled back to the barracks for another hour of sleep.

Kensuke chose to sit down in usual seat in the front. Throughout middle school and high school, Kensuke hadn't been the most attentive student. That changed when he was accepted to the JASDF military academy by the skin of his teeth. His demeanor towards school changed for the better. He found himself enjoying his courses. This morning's course, Tactics 101, was particularly fascinating both because of the professor and, to a lesser extent, the material.

"Hey, Aida!" One of Kensuke's classmates called out from behind. Kensuke turned to face his caller, a squat, muscular kid named Tamiya.

"What's up, Tamiya?" Kensuke asked.

"I heard the prof is handing out term assignments today. You scared?"

"Not really," Kensuke replied without a hint of concern. "Why do you ask?"

"The prof has a reputation of handing out tough assignments to her best students. She calls on you almost every class period."

"I'm just really attentive. Unlike certain people…" Kensuke teased.

Tamiya mock slapped him. "You know I still have the upper hand in firearms and PT training!"

"You may have the upper hand in those areas," a new voice interrupted, "But, grades are my specialty, Mr. Tamiya."

Kensuke and Tamiya turned to face their professor, Misato Katsuragi. They stood at attention as the rest of the class chuckled. Misato waved at them, "Sit down, gentlemen. How can I teach you if you're not seated?"

As the Kensuke took his seat, he carefully observed Misato as she placed a briefcase down on the classroom lectern and opened it. The former colonel of NERV had aged since the occurrence of the Third Impact. She had traded in her tight-fitting attire for conservative business clothing and a chance to teach tactics at the military academy. Her hair was graying from the everyday stress of teaching and working with authorities to track the last remaining members of SEELE. Wrinkles around her eyelids were small, but noticeable.

"All right, class. If you look in your syllabus you'll notice that today is the start of the class term project. From here on, there will be no lectures until the last day of class when you submit your presentation."

She retrieved a stack of papers from her briefcase and handed them to the nearest student. "All semester, we have talked about different battles throughout history and the how their outcomes were decided by the tactics chosen by the commanders. History can teach us a lot about what constitutes a good commander. Lord Nelson refused to be moved from the deck of his ship at the Battle of Trafalgar until the engagement was decided. But, why do we remember some commanders and not others? Why do we remember Hannibal more often than we do his Roman counterpart, Scipio Africanus, despite the fact that Africanus defeated Hannibal and ended the Second Carthaginian War?"

The paper that Misato had handed out finally got to Kensuke. He picked the one at the top and passed the rest back to Tamiya. He scanned the document quickly. The term project came in two parts: a written report and a presentation. Both were weighted equally.

"To this end, I challenge you to determine what it means to command. We can spew out theory all day until we're blue, but it doesn't mean anything until you've fired a shot in anger. I want you to interview the people who have fired shots in anger: the men and women who fought the Angels during the War. I have assigned each of you a person to interview. I will be in my office immediately after the class period. You must come by and pick up your assignment then."

Kensuke grinned. He knew this was one assignment he was going to like.

* * *

"Hi, Kensuke," Misato beamed. "I hope the academy is treating you well."

"I really like it here, Colonel," Kensuke answered formally.

While Misato seemed to have changed outwardly, her personality really hadn't changed all that much from what Kensuke gathered. The office was a mess with flurries of books and papers scattered about and taking up every usable inch of office save for a small sliver that lead from Misato's desk to the door. He couldn't help but feel like he was back at apartment with Misato, Shinji and the others. That had been only about five years ago.

"You don't have to be so formal with me," Misato said with a hint of disappointment in her voice. "You can call me Misato when we're not in the presence of other cadets."

"I, uh… Okay, Misato. I'll remember that."

Misato reached into a pile of papers on her desk and produced a plain envelope. She handed it to Kensuke who examined it. On the front was written "Kensuke Aida". "Open it," she encouraged him, "And, tell me what you think."

Kensuke opened the envelope with the enthusiasm of a child opening a gift. An enthusiasm which was lost when he saw the name printed on the card. "Why?" He asked in a meek, lost voice.

"Gendo Ikari was the commander of NERV. No person is more qualified to tell you what it means to command than he."

"B-but, he's in jail! How am I supposed to talk to a known war criminal?"

"You don't have to worry about the details. I talked this over with the commandant himself. He and I worked out the details. We pulled some strings and managed to get you a one hour meeting. When I chose Commander Ikari as an interview candidate for this project, I decided to make accepting the assignment voluntary. I have other candidates that I can give you, but I feel that he was the best choice for your project. Will you accept this?"

* * *

"Wait here, Mr. Aida," the warden, a tall, lithe looking man, told Kensuke as they entered a Spartan room with a utilitarian looking table and two chairs on either side. "And, remember, everything that you and _he_ talk about will be recorded."

The way the warden had said 'he' sent chills down Kensuke's spine as he waited. That one little comment made Kensuke reconsider the challenge that Misato had handed to him. Kensuke inwardly cursed his friend Tamiya who had lucked out and scored an interview with Fuyutsuki, the NERV sub-commander. The man was still under house arrest for his involvement in the Third Impact, but their talk would probably occur in a less forbidding environment.

The door to the room clicked open as two soldiers lead a haggard looking being into the room. Kensuke barely recognized him. His beard was gone revealing a sad man. His hair was cropped short around his skull and his yellow tinted glasses were replaced by simple spectacles. There was a stump where his hand had once been.

The soldiers sat Gendo down in the chair across from Kensuke and left the room with an audible click of the door.

"Which SEELE member are you looking for?" Gendo asked.

"Pardon?"

"I take it you are with Katsuragi's investigation team. They told me to expect someone from Katsuragi's office today."

Kensuke shook his head. "You have it wrong. I'm only a cadet."

Gendo leaned forward and squinted at Kensuke's uniform as he read the rank insignia. He chuckled. "I see… That's all I rate these days."

"I'm here to interview you for my term project for Mi-… er, Colonel Katsuragi's course on tactics."

"Term project? Interesting… What do you require?"

"I want to know what it means to command."

Gendo leaned back in his chair as he considered Kensuke's words. "Let me ask you something, Mister…"

"Aida. Kensuke Aida."

"Kensuke Aida? Then you are acquainted with the Third, no?"

"Yes, Shinji and I have been friends for some time."

Gendo leaned forward and clasped his hands in front of him. "Then you are familiar with my former life as a commander?"

"Yes."

"Good, that gives me some idea of where to begin. How familiar are you with the… circumstances of my return."

"You were found in a forest five miles from NERV headquarters on the first anniversary of the Third Impact."

"I meant my reason for returning. Do you know?"

Kensuke shook his head. "No, I don't."

"Everything I did, all of the people I sacrificed were for my wife Yui's sake. I had to get her back, so I used the Third as a catalyst. I could have spent eternity with Yui in the sea of LCL, but I realized that it wasn't real. What I did to the Third was unforgivable. I wanted to believe my new world was real, but Yui shamed me into returning. I could not live with myself; pretending to be the man she wanted me to be. I came back to atone for the sins I committed against the Third. The loss of everyone else was… acceptable."

Angry thoughts flashed through Kensuke's head as he stared at the man in front of him. Men had bled and died for this man. Touji was crippled for this man. He couldn't even find it in himself to refer to Shinji as his son; opting to call him the 'Third'.

"How is the Third?" Gendo asked unexpectedly. "I try and write to him every so often, but I can never find the right words."

"He still hates you, you know," Kensuke answered. "You can't even properly refer to him as your son."

"I can see why Katsuragi sent you to me, Mr. Aida. I see it plain as day. You have a conscience."

Kensuke shot Gendo a dirty look. "And, what if I do?"

"Conscience is a dangerous thing," Gendo stated. "You never sat behind my desk and gave the orders I have given."

Kensuke got up from his chair in disgust and prepared to leave when Gendo added, "I cannot refer to the Third as my son because I do not deserve to be loved as a father."

* * *

As the day of the presentation approached, Kensuke struggled to find a way to express what he learned. Or, lack of learning, it seemed, in his case. Every time he started writing a paragraph for his paper, he discarded it. There just had to be some way to express what he experienced. A revelation dawned on him one day when he saw Tamiya printing in the computer lab.

"Is that your term paper?" Kensuke asked. "It's not due until next week."

"Well, you could say the old man inspired me," Tamiya explained. "He may be a war criminal, but he knows his stuff. You want a look?"

Tamiya handed the printed paper to Kensuke who flipped through it. A grin grew on his face as he read the paper. That's when he realized what he had to do. After thanking Tamiya for his time, Kensuke rushed down to the academy library and checked out every available work on Gendo Ikari, NERV, and the Third Impact.

Over the course the next week, Kensuke typed prodigiously until he managed to finish the report the night before it was due. After some proof reading and editing he felt satisfied and printed the report.

* * *

On the day of the presentation, Misato handed out a pre-determined presentation schedule. Kensuke was a little disappointed to see that his name appeared last, but he was patient. Misato sat in the back and calmly wrote out comments as she watched the presentations.

Kensuke watched his friend, Tamiya, give an excellent presentation on Fuyutsuki which included several short video clips of interviews done with Fuyutsuki after the Third Impact. Kensuke felt a little disappointed in that he knew that his presentation would not be as grand.

When it was his turn, Kensuke brought a simple piece of paper. The class looked at him expectantly. Evidently, rumors had spread about Kensuke's encounter with the former NERV commander; even Tamiya seemed interested to hear what the man had to say about command.

Kensuke cleared his throat. "I know that many of you are aware of who I interviewed for this project. His prospective on command was… unique. Before I touch on the subject any further, there is something I want to share with you."

Kensuke paused to gauge the crowd. He could sense that their interest was still with him. "I am too inexperienced to know what it means to command," Kensuke declared. "How many of us have asked others to fight? Until that happens, we can never truly know what it means to command."

Kensuke's classmates looked at Kensuke in confusion. Was that all _the_ commander of NERV had taught him? This was the man who had faced down Angels and duped humanity into almost accepting his version of the Third Impact.

In the back, Misato smiled inwardly to herself. Kensuke had learned what he needed to learn.

* * *

A/N: I hope you enjoyed reading this short story. Don't ask about inspiration, I just needed to write something short to relieve my stress. As always, I encourage you to leave comments and criticism.

Until next posting…

Cardinal-Light


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